14 Killer Tips That Will Teach You How to be Charismatic
Have you ever met a really charismatic person? I have.
In general, life seems to move out of the way for them, and open all kinds of doors for them that don’t open for normal people. If there is one character trait a person can have, that can enhance their lives in a powerful and positive way, and literally sky rocket them to success, then this trait has to be charisma. Whichever way you look at it, learning how to be charismatic will change your life, no matter who you are right now! |
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About the Author |
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Hey, I'm Gary Marshall, and I'm passionate about charisma, and more importantly, studying what makes people charismatic.
I've done so much research on the topic, that I decided to write a book which I called The Charisma Rules (check out the book here). By doing a deep dive into the subject of charisma, I discovered something really exciting which I outline in my book. I discovered that charisma is nothing more than a set of skills (or rules if you will) that can be mastered by anyone that wants to learn them. By becoming aware of what these skills are, and then how they can obtain them, I am convinced that anyone on the planet can increase their charisma levels. In this article, I touch on some of these skills or "rules", and explore them a little more. So if you're looking to sky rocket your charisma levels, and learn exactly how to be charismatic, then keep reading... Table of ContentsIn this article we'll cover...
Why Be Charismatic Anyway?Often thought of as something that only the lucky few have, having charisma allows people to build a rapport with others, which in turn means these people like and admire them.
When powerful people like and admire you, they will go out of their way to create opportunities for you. They will want you in their lives and invite you to parties and gatherings. They will want you to work with them, and will take great joy in sharing their success and knowledge with you. When two people with the same skill set are going for the same promotion at work, who do you think will get it? I can assure you it will be the person that oozes charisma! Charismatic people often find that incredible opportunities present themselves all the time, which makes their lives exciting and fun. In my book 'The Charisma Rules', which teaches anyone how to be charismatic, I tell the story about how one of the most charismatic people I know conservatively estimates that whenever he flies, he is upgraded to Business Class at least 50% of the time. This is not because he is lucky, but because charisma spills out of him. He is an expert at building a rapport with people, which means they move mountains for him because they genuinely like him. |
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What is Charisma?
"I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
- Maya Angelou
Charisma is not about being loud, or being the life of the party. Charisma is about how you make other people feel. It is the ability to make the people around you feel like they are the only person on the planet when they are in your presence. It is the ability to make them feel like they are the most important person in the world!
There is a great story of two English statesmen Benjamin Disraeli and William Gladstone who were running for office. After months of campaigning they both had the chance to take the same lady out to dinner. After this lady had dined with both of them on alternate evenings, and had spent a couple of hours in their presence, a member of the press asked her what she thought of them. Her answer, once again, summed up charisma perfectly. She said that after spending a few hours with each of the men, it was obvious that they were very important, powerful and intelligent individuals, of that there was no doubt. She went on to say “When I left the dining room after sitting next to Mr. Gladstone, I thought that he was the cleverest person in England. But after sitting next to Mr. Disraeli, I thought that I was the cleverest person in England. Do you see the difference? Throughout the evening, Disraeli had asked her questions about herself, and listened carefully to each and every on of her responses. He had inquired all about her, and had kept steering the conversation back towards her. By doing this, he got her to talk about herself, and let's be honest, we always feel good when we're talking about ourselves. This story optimizes what charisma is. It is the ability to build such a rapport with people, that you actually make them feel like they are the only person you care about. It doesn’t matter who these people are, or what they do for a living, a charismatic person makes them feel incredible. Charisma is the ability to build rapport with people in such a way that they genuinely like you and enjoy being around you. It is the ability to have people warm to you, often not really knowing why they do, but simply knowing that they really admire you and want to spend more time with you. So what is charisma? |
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Charisma is a Simple Skill Anyone Can Learn
![]() When studying how to be charismatic, one of the things I’ve found about charisma is that most people don’t realize that it’s a skill, just like any other skill, that can be learnt and mastered.
Most people think charisma is one of those traits that “you either have or you don’t”. They think that charisma is something only the lucky are born with. They think it is something that comes naturally to people, and if they aren’t blessed with this ability then there is not much they can do about it. This couldn’t be further from the truth! Charisma is just like any other skill that can be studied, learnt and mastered, and 'The Charisma Rules' gives you the blueprint on how to do this. I've had a deep interested in the subject of how to be charismatic for as long as I can remember, and in my opinion it comes down to nothing more than a certain set of character traits, combining body language, attitude, conversation and awareness of your surroundings. When these are combined together, the result is full blown charisma. When it comes to charisma you can never be too charismatic, and you can certainly never stop learning and mastering your craft. Mastering the rules of charisma will change your life if you let it. When that happens, your life will become the stuff that only dreams are made of. A life where any goal and dream you have becomes easily achievable! All because of this wonderful superpower called “Charisma”. |
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1. Charismatic People Know How to be Present
2. They are World Class Listeners
Charismatic people have a tendency to be world class listeners, and becoming a better listener is another vital skill you can master in your quest to become more charismatic yourself.
Steven Covey once said that most people do not listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply. Think about that. Are you guilty of this at all?
Charismatic people listen with the intent to understand. They are thinking about their reply, before the speaker has finished their sentence.
Instead, they tend to have a habit of listening more than they speak and as a result make these people feel valued, and important. Developing your active listening skills are a critical aspects of becoming more charismatic.
Steven Covey once said that most people do not listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply. Think about that. Are you guilty of this at all?
Charismatic people listen with the intent to understand. They are thinking about their reply, before the speaker has finished their sentence.
Instead, they tend to have a habit of listening more than they speak and as a result make these people feel valued, and important. Developing your active listening skills are a critical aspects of becoming more charismatic.
3. They Have Strong Body Language

Body language is another key element to learning how to be more charismatic, and mastering body language starts with the correct posture.
If you pay close attention to someone that oozes charisma, you'll notice that they stand or sit upright, with their shoulders back. You'll never see them slouch, or sit with their shoulders in a rounded position.
They keep their heads held high looking directly at the person they are dealing with. This immediately projects self-confidence and portrays an image of assurance.
They also walk with certainty, like they own the path they are walking on - never in a brash way, but with an air of confidence.
If you pay close attention to someone that oozes charisma, you'll notice that they stand or sit upright, with their shoulders back. You'll never see them slouch, or sit with their shoulders in a rounded position.
They keep their heads held high looking directly at the person they are dealing with. This immediately projects self-confidence and portrays an image of assurance.
They also walk with certainty, like they own the path they are walking on - never in a brash way, but with an air of confidence.
4. They Have Great Conversation Skills
![]() It goes without saying that the most charismatic people on the planet are world class conversationalists. The good news is that becoming a great conversationalist is actually a lot easier than you think.
Obviously, you can make sure you are well read, and have an excellent general knowledge. This will always make you a better conversationalist because it will allow you to contribute more to conversations - but you knew that already didn’t you. If you have the time to do this and want to build up your subject knowledge, that’s fantastic. The downside to this though is that it may take some time. I encourage you to read as much as you can on as many subjects as possible. You can never be too well read. While being an avid reader is great, there is also another much quicker way that you can improve your conversation skills, and it doesn’t require any reading at all. In fact, ironically it doesn’t involve much speaking either. Dale Carnegie once wrote that “A person’s name is to that person the sweetest sound in any language”. Simply put, this means that people are always more interested in themselves than anyone else, and they will always be more responsive to the sound of their own name. Remember the anecdote earlier about the two British politicians that took the same lady out to dinner? The one that made the lady feel like she was the most interesting person on the planet by steering the conversation back to her, and listening intently to her answers, ended up winning the election. Charismatic people know that most people are more interested in themselves than anyone else. Whether they admit it or not, it is more than likely that a person’s favorite subject in the entire world is the subject of…well themselves. So try focusing the conversation more on the person you are conversing with, and less on yourself, and you'll be amazed at the results! In my book I cover this topic in more detail with a fascinating skill known as 'Social Jiu Jitsu'. |
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5. They Have Goals and a Clear Vision
6. They Look and Dress the Part
7. They Never Complain and Take Responsibility for Everything
8. They Shine the Spotlight on Others
![]() As well as taking responsibility for everything that happens to them, and never complaining, charismatic people specialize in complimenting others and heaping praise on them.
As the cornerstone of charisma being the ability to make the people in your life feel incredible, a great way to do this is to give them praise and pay them compliments when they have earned it. I’m not suggesting you lie to them or that you should be fake and insincere, but rather that you should practice being acutely aware of when they have done well or are at least trying their best. When this happens, charismatic people are always sure to let them know they are doing well. This sounds like such an overly simple and obvious thing to do, but you will be amazed how powerful this can be and the warming effect it can have on a person. Think about a time when someone paid you an unexpected compliment. Didn’t it make your day? Didn’t it make you feel like a million bucks? When we said that charisma is a simple skill that anyone can learn at the start of this article, this is exactly what we were referring to. People think that being charismatic requires you to have a mythical ‘wow’ factor but it doesn’t. It requires you to do simple things that most people take for granted, and it requires that you are aware of what these simple things are. By doing this you will sky rocket your social skills and in turn your charisma. Paying someone an unexpected compliment or praising them for something they have done well is ridiculously easy to do and takes only a small moment of your time, but how many of us actually do it. Charismatic people do, and they do it all the time. |
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9. They are Always Humble
10. They Make Time for Everyone
![]() Charismatic people make time for everyone, and will go out of their way to treat everybody the same. This is one of the cornerstone character traits of people that have outstanding interpersonal communication skills.
Now I'm not suggesting they will be equally close to everyone in their lives. Of course they may be close to family members, and consider some of the people they work with....well...colleagues. What I am highlighting is that if you pay close attention to a charismatic person, when they are in any social situation, they will pay as much attention to the people they don't know, as they do to the ones they do. If they are in the office, they will give everyone the time of day, from the carpet cleaner to the CEO. I was having dinner at a friend’s house a few years ago, and we started talking about a gather we’d both been to the previous weekend. One of our other friends, Pete had been there. Now Pete is the kind of guy that just seems to be larger than life. He’s an ebullient character that really makes the most out of life. Although I wouldn't necessarily class him as the most charismatic person I've met, he has certain charismatic qualities that I admire and often try to emulate myself. He’s the kind of guys that everyone gravitates towards when he enters the room for the first time. Both my friend and I have a lot of time for Pete, and we enjoy being in his company. What I found interesting that night though was that my friend’s wife Kim made the comment that she had always felt that Pete never made any time or effort with her, and to be quite honest she never really knew where she stood with him. Now I can assure you, after knowing Pete for many years, he is just too nice a guy to have any sort of issue with Kim. In-fact, he doesn’t really know her well enough to have any hang-ups with her at all. I assured her she was wrong, and that any insecurity she had was unwarranted. After all, Pete was the nicest guy anyone could meet. But after some further discussion Kim she said she felt that Pete never really took the time to speak to her whenever they were in a social situation. She said he was always friendly and amicable, but he seemed to move towards “other” people in a social situation, but never her. I found this very interesting. Being good friends with Pete, I guess I was one of the people that he tended to gravitate towards instead of her, so I have never had the problem of him not paying me any attention. To be honest, I’d never noticed him not paying Kim or anyone else attention for that matter, but I had experienced the same issue with other people before. Whether or not they had done it intentionally I’m not sure, but I had certainly experienced occasions where I felt that someone wasn’t making an effort with me at all, and I remembered how it made me feel. Charismatic people make time for everyone. This is a really simple skill you can start developing right away! |
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11. They Have Power
12. They "Act as If"
Imagine you’re at a social gathering and someone said to you, “I’ll give you $20 million if you go and introduce yourself to that person and start a conversation with them”.
Assume this person is a Billionaire and is dead serious. Assume they are trying to demonstrate the power of the mind to you, and are happy to spend the money to do this. It would be a no-brainer wouldn’t it. You’d pretty much walk over there without even thinking about it and strike up a conversation with them. “I’m sorry, we haven’t met, I’m…” you’d probably say. Of course this is a fictitious scenario because it’s highly unlikely anyone will offer you that kind of money, but the idea of this simple game is to tap into the power of your mind, as well as your full potential. The fact that you might be shy and nervous when talking to new people wouldn’t matter if someone was willing to offer you that kind of money to strike up a conversation. This tells us that you already have everything you need inside you, in order to be more outgoing. You already have the ability to start a conversation with strangers. You just need the right motivation. You just need the right push. Basically what this game does is bring out the greatest version of yourself. It allows you to “Act As If” you are already the greatest version of yourself, by pushing your boundaries. If someone offered you $20 million to “Act As If” you were the most charismatic person on the planet for the next 10 minutes, you’d jump right into character and I bet you would radiate charisma. What else could you do if you applied this mindset each and every day? |
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13. They Have an Attitude of Gratitude
14. They Have Awareness
One of the biggest discoveries I have made on my journey to building my charisma is that when it comes to changing the person you are, half the battle is awareness.
I have learnt that if you are completely aware of what you want to achieve in life, you are half way there to achieving it. The reason most people never achieve their full potential is because they are not actively aware of what they are capable of. They are not aware of what they can achieve, because they don’t actively set goals for themselves or set themselves challenges. Instead they amble through life, with little or no plan. Think about this. If I challenged you to act as if you were the most charismatic person in the world for 10 seconds, would you be able to do it? I bet you could! You would suddenly spark into life, your whole body physiology would change. Your face would light up with character. Why? Simply because you would be aware that you are trying to be more charismatic. Being aware of what you are trying to accomplish, whether it’s trying to be more charismatic, lose weight or make more money, is the first and most important step to success. I strongly feel that awareness is the glue that holds all the other charisma rules together. You may have mastered all of the other rules, but if you forget to apply them out in the real world, they will hold little value and will have little effect on your charisma levels. You will find that the more you remind yourself of your charisma goals, the more it will become a habit. Eventually you won’t feel the need to read your notes as often as you did, because charisma will have become a natural part of who you are. |
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Want to Take Your Charisma Skills to the Next Level?

Here at The Charisma Rules, we believe Charisma is a simple skill that can be learnt. It all comes down to being aware that these rules exist, and then applying them to your life.
If you'd like to learn more about these rules, be sure to grab a copy of The Charisma Rules and start changing your life today!
If you'd like to learn more about these rules, be sure to grab a copy of The Charisma Rules and start changing your life today!