Social Skills Training - How to Improve Your Social Skills
As you can imagine, a huge aspect of being more charismatic is developing your social skills. While this might sound obvious, it's important to dig a little deeper into some simple social skills training, which will easily teach you how to improve your social skills quickly and easily.
Charismatic people may be known for their social skills, but one of the things I've always found fascinating is that Charismatic people tend to specialize in complimenting others and heaping praise on them, while exercising these social skills.
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Improving Your Social Skills is Simple
As you may have already read on this site, or read in The Charisma Rules book, charisma (and world class social skills) is the ability to make the people in your life feel incredible, and a great way to do this is to give them praise and pay them compliments when they have earned it. By mastering this simple act, you will see your social skills sky rocket in no time at all.
Now let's be clear here, I’m not suggesting you lie to them or that you should be fake and insincere, but rather to be acutely aware of when they have done well or are at least trying their best. When this happens, charismatic people are always sure to let them know they are doing well. This sounds like such a simple and obvious thing to do, but you will be amazed how powerful this can be and the warming effect it can have on a person.
When was the last time you praised the people in your life? When was the last time you told someone you were proud of them or that they were doing well?
For me it was yesterday when I praised my wife for remembering to buy new toothpaste. We had been running really low the last couple of days, and quite frankly I was getting tired of trying to squeeze the last drop out of the tube (I’m sure you’ve been there before).
When it came time to brush my teeth last evening, I found a brand spanking new tube of toothpaste on the sink counter. Sure it only cost a few dollars, and it’s something that is purchased a million times around the world every day, but at that point in time I was ecstatic to see a new tube in-front of me.
I shouted down the passageway to my wife as I brushed my teeth, “What a champion you are for buying the toothpaste”. Her face lit up and I could tell she appreciated it.
It’s the small things that make people feel great and charismatic people make the people in their lives feel great.
Charismatic people with exceptional social skills are masters at shining the spotlight on other people, rather than taking the glory and credit themselves. Even in a team situation when they are receiving credit, you’ll find them saying things like “Thanks, but I was really lucky to have XYZ working with me on this one”. This incredible modesty goes a long way to make the people around them feel valued and important.
I try to do this as often as I can in my own life each and every day. If someone visits our home and compliments us on the way it is decorated, I’ll be sure to let them know it was “all my wife’s doing”. Sure I may have played a part in it, but by complimenting my wife in-front of other people, it makes her feel like a million bucks, as all the praise is heaped on her. In essence I take the spotlight and swing it round so that it is shining brightly on her.
If someone compliments me on a new shirt I’m wearing, I’ll tell them my wife bought it for me, rather than simply saying “Thanks”. It’s such a small difference, but can you see what a huge difference it can make to the person you’re shining the spotlight on?
When was the last time you paid the people in your life a compliment? I’m not talking about complimenting them on the obvious things they have done well, I’m talking about the unexpected compliments like how you love their smile, or you love their outlook on life.
Think about it. It costs you absolutely nothing to do this, and can give that person a massive confidence boost. Another way to put it, is that it gives the person that ‘warm fuzzy feeling’ inside and allows you to build an instant rapport with them. That is another way to define Charisma.
Think about a time when someone paid you an unexpected compliment. Didn’t it make your day? Didn’t it make you feel like a million bucks?
When I stated that charisma is a simple skill that anyone can learn at the start of this book, this is exactly what I was referring to. People think that being charismatic requires you to have a mythical ‘wow’ factor but it doesn’t. It requires you to do simple things that most people take for granted. Paying someone an unexpected compliment or praising them for something they have done well is ridiculously easy to do and takes only a small moment of your time, but how many of us actually do it.
Charismatic people do, and they do it all the time.
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Social Skills Exercise (Become More Charismatic)
Social Skills Charisma Exercise #8
Add this skill to your charisma toolbox by focusing on it for the next few days, and you will not only learn how to improve your social skills, but you will also boost your charisma levels and create a magnetic draw towards yourself.
Start by paying someone around you an unexpected compliment. Remember not to be fake or insincere, but rather highlight their positive aspects. You also want to make sure you don’t overdo it with the same person, as it will lose its effect if done too often and insincerely.
When someone pays you a compliment, shine the spotlight on anyone that assisted you if you are able to.
Work on this for the next few days until it starts to become a habit. Get into the habit of looking for the good in people. Tell your partner they look good when they do, tell your kids how proud you are of them, and the people they have become. Heap praise and compliments on anyone that deserves it. Charismatic people do, and you’re well on your way to becoming one of them.
Want to Be More Charismatic?
Here at The Charisma Rules, we believe Charisma is a simple skill that can be learnt. It all comes down to being aware that these rules exist, and then applying them to your life.
If you'd like to learn more about these rules, be sure to grab a copy of The Charisma Rules.