You may not have expected to find and article about "goals setting how to" on a website about charisma, but the truth is that charismatic people have goals and they are masters at setting goals.
They know where they are going, and they know what they want in life. If you ask them what they want to achieve 12 months from now, they will be able to rattle off a list of achievements in 5 seconds.
If you ask them what they want to achieve 10 years from now, they will be able to do the same. They don’t simply amble through life like a large percentage of people do. They are focused, driven and have clearly defined goals that they want to accomplish during their time on this planet.
It’s not my intention to turn this site into a site about goals, but the power of goals really can’t be underestimated. You may have heard this all before, but trust me when I tell you that it’s the truth, and here’s why.
I believe that goals are incredibly important for the simple reason that when you start to achieve your goals and you then start to achieve a degree of success, no matter how big or small, you will find that you start to change as a person for the better.
Once you realize that the goals you have set yourself are possible, you will become addicted to achieving them and your entire mindset will change. No longer will you be a shy, quiet person living in the shadows of life. No longer will you lack direction, motivation and drive. Instead you will find you are suddenly more confident, and happy to take on any challenge. These are both important character traits of charismatic people.
You will find that instead of wasting your time talking about other people, or complaining, you will have an incredibly positive outlook on life, and will attack any challenge that comes your way. When you think of truly charismatic people, I’m sure you’d agree that this is the type of outlook they have on life. They seem to make everything look so easy. They glide through life from one achievement to another, loved and praised by the people around them. Don’t you want to have these character traits as well?
Goal setting is crucial if you’re going to become a more charismatic person. Without turning this into a boring goal-setting article, which I’m sure you’ve been through in other sites, I’d like to take you briefly through my goal-setting strategy, and how I accomplish this. Once I’ve done that, I’m going to tell you how to apply this to one of your biggest goals of all…becoming a more charismatic person.
I’ve found that my life changed when I really started to focus on my goals. I started to grow into the person I had always wanted to be, simply because I started to achieve success. Although this success was small at first, the mere fact that I had accomplished the goal I had set myself led to me setting bigger more ambitious goals. Once I achieved these I set more goals, growing in confidence all the time.
When you meet someone that is in the process of working on their goals, you can see it from a mile away. They have a passion for life, and seem to have a sparkle in their eyes.
I like to keep my goal-setting process really simple. I’ve read many books on goal setting, and while some of them have been excellent, I have come up with my own formula which works really well for me.
There are 4 steps in my powerful goal setting process. Where I feel many goal-setting books fall short is that they place far too much emphasis on setting BIG audacious goals that challenge you. While I believe this is important and even vital if you are going to reach your full potential, I’ve found it can also be detrimental to your success if not done correctly.
The problem with setting massive, juicy goals is that you will often have a hard time relating to them. It’s one thing to write down a goal of earning $100,000 a month by the end of the year, but if you currently earn $2,000 a month, your brain will have a hard time believing that this will be possible. You will then find that because you don’t really believe it is possible to achieve your goal, you start to lose interest in it, and will lack the motivation required to get you moving in the right direction.
Before we get started with my goal setting formula, I believe that there is one crucial element that you need to do before you even start to set yourself goals. You first need to create an overall vision. You need to create your overall master plan. Think of your vision as the grand accumulation of all your goals. Your vision ties all your goals together into one powerful result if you will.
I personally believe that this is vital to achieving your goals because I found that before I created a vision for myself, I would lose interest in my goals if I found them too difficult, or if I wasn’t having much success with them. I found that I tended to quit at the first hurdle or roadblock I faced. Looking back I now realize that the problem was that I couldn’t see the big picture. I couldn’t see how my goals tied in together and how they would impact my life overall.
So the very first thing I do is create my vision. I think of the end picture, where I want to end up eventually once I’ve achieved all of my goals.
My vision may be something along the lines of living in a beautiful 6 bedroom house with my wife and children. I run my own company that makes $100,000 a month. I use a portion of the money I earn to give back to charities and to help people in need. I am in peak shape because I work out in my private gym every single day. I have incredible relationships with friends and family and make them feel like they are the most important people in the world when they are around me. I ooze charisma and have a magnetic personality that attracts great people into my life. One day when I am gone, people will remember that I made them feel good about themselves when they were around me.
Now of course your vision may differ, but this is just an example of my overall vision. It sums up where I see myself 20-30 years from now. Now that I have created my overall vision, I then break this vision down into small, tiny steps also known as goals. These goals will be the steps and path I need to take in order to achieve this grand vision I have created for myself.
The beauty of this is that if I don’t achieve one of my goals, I simply remind myself of my overall vision and immediately feel a rush of enthusiasm and power.
In the past I may have set myself a goal of losing 10 pounds. When I failed to do this I would give up and get despondent, but after I created my vision, I remind myself that my overall goal is to be in peak shape in the long-run. This means that although I may have failed on this particular fitness goal, all I need to do is start over again and keep going. Eventually if I do this often enough, I will achieve my overall vision.
Essentially your vision will tie your goals together and keep you motivated when you hit inevitable stumbling blocks along the way.
So now that I have created my vision, I will next focus on my goals. My goal setting process has a few different steps. I first set myself what I like to call “My Year Goals”, which are a set of goals I want to achieve by 31st December of this year. These goals are all goals which are currently just slightly out of my reach. I haven’t achieved them yet, but I know that with some hard work and focus, I can achieve them by the end of the year. If I currently earn $2,000 a month, I may set myself a goal of earning $5,000 a month. I then compile a list of a variety of goals, from financial goals, fitness goals, relationship goals, charisma goals and lifestyle goals.
I then create what is called a vision board. This is simply a set of pictures I’ve found online of each of my goals. A good example is that currently one of my goals is to book a holiday to New York by the end of the year. So my vision board has a beautiful picture of the New York skyline. I also have pictures of my financial goals, pictures of fitness models I want to have the same body as, and all sorts of other inspiring pictures. I find that the trick is to find pictures that really inspire you and grab your attention. Find pictures that get your juices flowing, and provoke emotion when you look at them.
These two steps are vital to achieving my goals. The fact that I have set myself goals which are only just out of my reach means I know they are achievable and won’t lose heart or focus. My vision board reminds me what achieving my goals will look and feel like, which has a powerful impact. Remember these short-term goals are all geared towards achieving my overall long-term vision.
I next repeat the process, only this time I set myself what I call “My 10 Year Goals”. As the name suggests, these are the goals I want to achieve 10 years from now. They may be something like earning $100,000 a month, or living in a beautiful 6 bedroom home. They are what I would consider huge goals, which at the moment seem miles away, but I set them nonetheless.
I then also create a vision board with these goals, containing inspiring pictures that excite me.
Now here is where the real power comes in. By setting myself yearly goals, but also setting myself 10 year goals, I make sure that I keep myself focused, while also remembering to think big and shoot for the stars.
What I’ve found is that by focusing on my yearly goals, while at the same time remembering where I want to be 10 years from now, the two sets of goals slowly start to align with each other more and more each year.
If you achieved the goal of earning $5,000 a month by the end of the year, you would then set a new yearly goal of earning $10,000 a month for the next year. Year by year I’ve found that my goals get closer and closer to my 10 year goals. I’m still being ambitious by having these huge goals in the background, but the real power comes from focusing on my short term goals, and ticking them off each year.
I do this on my iPhone. You can use a piece of paper if you wish, but I really like to keep this list on my phone so that I have it with me wherever I go.
Whenever I get a chance, I open up the list on my phone and read through my goals. This reminds me what I am trying to accomplish and what I’d like to achieve. I then spend a few minutes just looking at my vision board, letting the images sink in.
My biggest tip is to write out your goals each and every day, in the present tense. When I do this, I also write out the time frame for which I would like to achieve each of my goals.
Here’s an example off my list:
“I easily buy a house and start to renovate it by 31st December 2024”.
In this example, you can see I have used the word ‘easily’. This is important as it reaffirms in your mind that you will achieve this goal no matter what the challenges are. I then specify my goal, and set a time frame for it, being the 31st December 2024.
It only takes me 5 minutes to do this. I then make sure I read them a few times throughout the day.
This sounds far too simple to actually work, but believe me when I tell you, don’t underestimate the power of this. I first realized how powerful this process is when I decided to set myself a goal of finding a new job, which paid a far larger salary than I had been earning at the time. I wrote out my goal exactly in the format as above, specifying the salary I would earn (which was about $30,000 a year more than I had been earning at the time), and the timeframe in which I would find the job. Would you believe it I was offered a job earning that exact salary less than 2 months after writing the goal down.
I had always been slightly skeptical of goal setting and although I was a fan of it, I wasn’t convinced how useful it was. This changed though when I had this experience. I wrote the goal down each and every day, and less than 2 months later I was offered a new job. I can still remember the powerful feeling that flowed through me when I got the phone call offering me the job. I sat on the bed in amazement and thought to myself “This stuff works! I wonder what other goals I can set myself. What else can I achieve if I start to write it down and focus on it”
I then added additional goals, some more challenging, and since then I have slowly started to tick them off my list.
So how did this work?
Well I’m certainly not an expert on goal setting, but I believe that by writing out my goal each and every night, it planted the seed in my subconscious mind. Of course this job didn’t just appear out of thin air. I had to upload my resume onto various job websites online, but if I hadn’t set myself that goal, I would never have had the desire to look for another job. I wouldn’t have uploaded my resume onto job websites, I wouldn’t have applied for jobs paying that salary, and I wouldn’t have got a phone call from a recruitment agent. The bottom line is I would still be in my old job earning $30,000 a year less.
Not only that, but even worse I would still have that terrible feeling that I was underachieving. I would still be plagued by my thoughts, always wondering if I could be earning more, and wondering how I can provide a better lifestyle for myself and my wife.
Instead though, I don’t have that feeling that I am underachieving any longer. This led to me feeling more confident and being far more outgoing. It also led to me having the drive and confidence to pursue other, more ambitious goals that lead to an even better lifestyle for my wife and I, as well as increased my confidence and charisma even more in the long-run.
That is the real power of goal-setting. Your goals won’t appear magically out of thin air, but what it does do is force you to focus on what you want and then move towards achieving it slowly and steadily. If I had never set myself a goal of earning $30,000 a year more than I was, I would never have bothered to apply for jobs paying that salary.
Yes, this site is about charisma, but the fact is that goal setting can go a long way to growing your charisma because when you start to achieve your goals and start to realize you can achieve anything you focus on, you immediately become more confident in your own ability. This leads to an increase in charisma.
In-fact, one of my goals was to become more charismatic. I thought long and hard about what I would need to do in order to become more charismatic. It was then that I came up with the rules in this book, and scribbled them down on a piece of paper. I set myself a goal of working on each of these rules each day, and really started to build my charisma skills. I knew this was possible because I had already achieved many of the other goals on my list.
Make sure you write out your goals each and every night, and then read them throughout the day. You will find that you automatically start to focus on these, and will be amazed how you automatically start to take more action towards achieving them. They say that success breeds success, but it also leads to being more charismatic.
**** Update: I’m happy to say that I recently purchased the house I used in the example of my goals above, and am currently working on renovating it. Goal setting works!
Charisma exercise #5:
I want you to spend the next 20 minutes in a quiet area, and think deeply what you want in life. Create a vision for yourself. Your master plan.
Now I want you to think what kinds of goals you would need to achieve in the next 12 months to start working towards this vision.
Think about all the different areas of your life, and what you would like to accomplish. Think about your finances, your relationships, your character, your leisure and holidays, your fitness, your habits.
Now create a list with each of these goals.
Here’s another example off my current goal list:
“I easily stop biting my fingernails by 31st December 2020”.
“My wife and I easily book a holiday to New York by 31st December 2020”.
“I easily review my charisma rules every day and make the people in my life feel incredible by 31st December 2020”.
Write out each of your goals just like this. Mine are on my iPhone, but you can keep yours anywhere you like. Be sure to make one of your goals to review the charisma rules every day and to continue to develop your charisma levels.
Next spend some time making a vision board which contains inspiring pictures of your goals. Once again, I keep these on my iPhone in a document so that I have them with me at all times. I look at my vision board several times a day and it really gets my juices flowing and keeps me focused. I can immediately feel my charisma levels rising when this happens.
Now repeat the process with your 10 year goals. Write them out, and create a vision board once again.
An example might be “I easily own a beautiful 6 bedroom dream house by 31st December 2024.”
Next commit to writing out both sets of goals on a new piece of paper, or in your iPhone notes each night. It should only take you 5 minutes at most. This is a key step in the process, as it keeps you focused and reminds you constantly what you want to achieve. It sounds like an inconsequential step, but it is the key to the whole process.
Once you’ve done this, I want you to spend a little time applying this method to your charisma. Think of the overall vision you want when it comes to your charisma. How will you look, how will you sound, how will you carry yourself. How will you make people feel, how will you interact with people. Then break this vision down into a set of both short term and long term goals.
Keep doing this each and every day and you will be amazed how your charisma levels start to grow. You will be amazed how your confidence starts to increase as you realize that the silly little things you thought weren’t possible now are.
You will find goal setting on the agenda of almost every charismatic person on the planet. Make sure it is on your agenda too.
Want to Learn How to Be Charismatic?
Here at The Charisma Rules, we believe Charisma is a simple skill that can be learnt. It all comes down to being aware that these rules exist, and then applying them to your life.
If you'd like to learn more about these rules, be sure to grab a copy of The Charisma Rules.